pit of loneliness
The rain is falling outside and it feels as though it is permeating through my veins and swallowing me up in its relentless pouring. It reminds me of fear, worry, and doubt that takes hold and refuses to listen to reason until you are drowning in it and swept away trying desperately to claw your way back to peace. Satan will use any tool necessary to tear you apart from the love of the Holy Father.
As the days blur into weeks and the weeks into months, you will continue to drown in the self doubting and fears until you cry out to the Father. He will rescue you straight from the pit that is swimming inside of you and swallowing you whole. He cannot help you until you ask. He cannot make you come to Him. You must reach out and cry to Him for He is the only One who can save you from the pain that has come over you.
My Father is my strength. When the world around me feels as though it is caving in and I am suffocating with doubt, fear, pain, or worry, He is the only One that hears me without my saying a word. He offers me His Words right in front of me in black and white – I need only to read them. He offers me the words to say to others rather than using my own. He hugs me when I don’t even recognize it. He picks me up off my knees when I can’t stand up on my own and my legs are buckling beneath me. He offers me the power in my soul to stand alone if I need to in His name. He carries me in His arms when I feel like my feet will no longer carry me. He wipes away every single tear that I need to cry and replaces it with hope and a reminder that I am His daughter and I matter. I MATTER. Satan would love for all of us to believe that we are just a no one in this world that has no power and makes no difference. But Jesus was only one – and He made all the difference. He gave us life. He gave us the only life that matters – eternal life. He let His body be ripped, torn, and He bled until He died while hanging on some old boards with rusty nails pulling His hands and feet down. He did it for all of us – for ME.
So while the rain falls and my Spirit threatens to fall with it, I will remember His love. I will feel His power and take back from Satan what he threatens to take from me which is my peace and my strength. I will raise my hands to Him and focus on His eyes that are forever on me watching, listening, and loving. I will hold on to all of His promises and live for the day that He takes me home where there is no more pain, no more anger, no more judgments, no more fear, no more worry, no more sin.
Fall into His hands and let Him lead the way. Don’t wake up for even one day not reminding yourself of the grace He gives us to always start fresh. As the rain pours, let it wash you clean with only His love in your mind and soul. He wants all of you – every broken and twisted part you have because He can make you whole. What an amazing love He has for me, and I pray that I quit taking it for granted and do more for Him and for others.
“You will keep him in perfect peace, whose mind is stayed on You, because he trusts in You.” Isaiah 26:3
“Peace I leave with you, My peace I give to you; not as the world gives do I give to you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid.” John 14:27
Have you ever been in that pit of loneliness, self doubt, or guilt knowing you’ve done things you regret, things you are ashamed of, or have found yourself being distant from God? If you are honest, the answer is yes. We all go through life just going throughthe motions some days and ignore the fact that we are not supposed to be living for ourselves. We are only here because God put us here. Sometimes, the realization that we have ignored God hits us like a ton of bricks when we find ourselves in a desperate situation or at a low moment in our lives. We look around, feeling alone, and the loneliness engulfs us as we are fighting back the realization that we have kept God out of our lives until this very moment when we want Him to come and rescue us out of the pit we have dug ourselves into. We must open our hearts in true honesty – humbling ourselves before God and acknowledging the truth: that we went about life as though we didn’t need God and could handle things on our own. “He has told you, O man, what is good; and what does the Lord require of you but to do justice, and to love kindness, and to walk humbly with your God?” (Micah 6:8)
All around you are people just like you who are Christians and are struggling and trying to balance Christianity with life rather than just realizing that you can’t be a Christian and live “worldly”. We must cry out to God and ask for His guidance in everything – not just when we are in trouble. Living for Him requires wearing His armor at all times because that one moment, no matter how brief, that you don’t put it on, is the one moment sin will creep right in and fester. “Put on the whole armor of God, that you may be able to stand against the schemes of the devil.” (Ephesians 6:11) We are weak beings without Him. We have no strength on our own and become so vulnerable to others around us and the opening to sin wherever we go.
God alone can lift you up and restore your soul, your faith, your trust. He alone can bring you to joy again when you feel there is no joy left to be found. You must be humble. You must show your broken spirit to God and your hurting heart. Open it with all humility, accepting whatever lesson He may have for you to restore you to who He means for you to be in this life. Let Him envelop you, love you, wrap His forgiving arms around you and embrace the lesson He is teaching you. Even Jesus had to humble himself for the ultimate sacrifice. So why should we find it so hard to be humble if Jesus could do what He did for us? “And being found in human form, he humbled himself by becoming obedient to the point of death, even death on a cross.” (Philippians 2:8)